| SQL Server Club Top Tens... |
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| Top Ten... typos in Visual Studio/SSMS that you make over and over again |
1. Sim sFristName as String
2. Fnuction
3. create porc
4. alter tabel
5. TootTip |
6. ReDin
7. Provate Sub
8. Private Sun
9. SLECT top (5)
10. Dim i as interger |
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| Top Ten... Developer Snacks |
1. Coffee
2. Coke
3. Pizza (cold)
4. Peanuts
5. Donuts |
6. Cookies
7. M&Ms
8. Chips
9. Pretzels
10. Coffee |
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| Top Ten... Favorite Ways to Unwind After a Hard Day's Coding |
1. Beer
2. Mountain biking
3. Ice-Skating
4. Music
5. Cinema and Films (got a Top Ten Film list?) |
6. Video games (Top Ten Video Games?)
7. Photography
8. Train spotting
9. Gadget shopping / browsing
10. Pylon spotting |
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| Top Ten... Science Fiction Books |
1. Bladerunner - Philip K Dick
2. Only Forward - Michael Marshall Smith
3. Shockwave Rider - John Brunner
4. The Consultant - John McNeil
5. I, Robot - Isaac Asimov |
6. Neuromancer - William Gibson
7. The Glass Hammer - KW Jetter
8. Excession - Iain M Banks
9. Snow Crash - Neal Stephenson
10. Hyperion - Dan Simmons |
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| Top Ten... Best Things About Being a Developer |
1. Developing a fizzy drinks habit.
2. Being as odd as you like and people just say "Oh yeah, he works in the IT department".
3. Losing hours and hours to development time – just me and Visual Studio.
4. Justifying the purchase cost of your enormous new monitor to the finance director by bamboozling him with techno jargon about screen estate and
your need to run an IDE alongside SSMS, do vital SSIS tasks, maintain TFS and wrap up EXEs in ISEs... and now you're learning WPF, WCF and WWF!
5. Rolling off loads of techno acronyms with your fellow developers in the lunch queue and knowing that the marketing lot behind you have no idea what you’re on about.
6. Getting rid of people you don’t like who try to strike up a conversation with you by the coffee machine by telling them in nauseating detail how you fixed the problem with Visual SourceSafe refusing to let any of the developers alter their code.
7. Having several hours to kill being able to do nothing whilst "waiting for something to install".
8. Sex appeal - not having to worry about it.
9. Being smug in the knowledge that even if that 'dude' in marketing is wearing a $900 suit, at least you mastered how to tie your own shoe laces.
10. Blaming everything that goes wrong on the DBA. Why, it couldn't possibly be my code causing that performance problem, could it? |
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| Top Ten... Worst Things About Being a Developer |
1. Lugging heavy manuals around.
2. Having to fix your relatives' home PC problems and coping with Uncle Jim who refuses to ditch his dial-up modem and all the problems that go with it.
3. Getting strange looks on the train when you get out your latest copy of MSDN magazine.
4. Developing a fizzy drinks habit.
5. Trying to code when your brain is worn out.
6. No more X-Files.
7. Never being invited to parties.
8. The disappointment and depression that sinks you lower than anything else you have experienced in life when that day arrives… you no longer get a hit off caffeine.
9. Having to talk to people who don't understand you (non-developers).
10. Buying a web cam and then seeing how pale and spotty you are (you really should get out more and ditch those developer snacks). |
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| Top Ten... Best Things About Being a DBA |
1. Being able to say no to developers, however much they whine.
2. Being able to over-spec new hardware (with an unlimited budget!).
3. Decorating the office with SQL Server System Table maps.
4. Saying "Ah no, I can't do that, it's a security issue", when what you really mean is, right now, you just can't be bothered.
5. Having a support relationship with someone at Microsoft.
6. Opening the quarterly MSDN disk pack updates, and having control over which ones the developers can get their hands on (usually the disks with the software names ending in MUI (Multilingual User Interface) or just giving them a foreign language version of SourceSafe knowing they can't do anything with it but will be excited at being given a DVD anyway).
7. Management take you ever-so-slightly-more-seriously than when you used to be a developer.
8. Having a lockable desk drawer, citing such a requirement on the grounds of security to lock up passwords and disks (or rather, that jumbo bag of chips you'll only get out when those ever-hungry developers have all gone home).
9. Having an electronic swipe card that opens the server room door (how important am I?).
10. Knowing that Dilbert doesn't apply to you! |
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| Top Ten... Worst Things About Being a DBA |
1. The tedium of installing service packs.
2. Standing up for hours on end in cold server rooms.
3. Being on call.
4. Being called before breakfast to be told there's a problem with the database server.
5. Not being able to consume hot drinks in the server room.
6. Realizing that the extra salary you get for being a DBA doesn't come close to compensating for all those extra hours you spend at work - especially doing maintenance jobs over the Christmas holiday.
7. Still being at your desk when all the developers have gone home.
8. Dealing with managers.
9. Dealing with developers.
10. Having to convince system support people that they really shouldn't configure the disks on a database server in the same way that they would for a file server. |